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Nov 20, 2020Liked by Todd Lincoln

You know...reading this article feels like attending an academic class. You have all the points covered. There is no way I can possibly contradict any statement - all of it is true. It's the best, scientifically correct way of dating. And of course the output of the algorithm is the "soulmate". There is no error and no possible cause of error - it's like having al algorithm proven mathematically corect. Yet somehow I feel like a lot of trouble for nothing, you know what I mean?

Because after finding your "soulmate" - people change. Years pass and suddenly you are no longer the main object of attraction - the child is. Next here comes the second child and the relationship becomes more like a haunted carcass that is drained of all life. You may have a great start that promises wonders and a lifetime fulfillment - but then here comes that job offer in Europe that you know you can't take because it will divide your family and will tear everything apart. Sure you say - a soulmate would understand and would accept. Are you sure though?

It feels to me like although it shouln't be hard work to have a relationship - after having kids it kinda is. I don't know what to say more...

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You make some really good points here. 

Looking back at this article (and my dating journey), maybe I focused too much on finding a relationship that was "perfect" rather than "durable" or "flexible" or "adaptable." To your point, life is going to change a lot and your relationship must endure through many seasons. It can't just be kept pristine in a glass display case on the shelf, it has to weather life's many storms. 

Kids are definitely a game changer. and I'm just starting to experience that lesson now. I had to LOL at your description of "a haunted carcass that is drained of all life." 

Anyways, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I really enjoyed reading them. 

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